Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Snowflakes

Andy's comment on my blog posting about loss has me thinking about snowflakes now.
He is so right, none are the same, they are all different.
It reminded me of the first time I saw a snowflake.
I was about nine years old. It never snowed much in San Antonio when I was growing up. They actually sent us home early from school so we could play in the snow -- before it melted.
I remember it was a Friday afternoon, likely in January or February. I remember telling my Mom that the yard looked like someone had spilled a bunch of raspas, or snowcone shavings, in the grass.
She laughed and said if I caught snowflakes in my hands, I'd notice that they are all different. Of course, I paid attention for a second, agreed, but never really noticed it. I just wanted to play before it became slush.
Years later, Mom crocheted snowflakes for our Christmas tree. She made four of them, for each kid. We each had one to hang, whichever one we grabbed first.
"Mom, they aren't the same," I told her.
With that mom look, she said, "Mija, they aren't supposed to be!"
It was Christmas 1991, seven months after Mom died, Daddy sat the four of us down at the house so we could divide up the Christmas decorations. This was Mom's favorite holiday.
Boxes and boxes of glass balls that my parents had collected through their 45 years of marriage.
Lights. Angels. Cheesy paper cutouts with glitter that each of us made through the years during school. The four snowflakes that my mother crocheted
years earlier.
I don't remember which of us said it, but it was noticed.
"None of these are the same." They are unique.
It's kind of like the four of us, I thought, as I sat next to my siblings, reminiscing with some tears about Mom and the decorations we sifted through.
You're right, Andy. There's no right answer for how to deal with loss. It's the memories that get us through, help us endure. Never forget.
So, it's really not about snowflakes, I guess. It's about people.
Thanks, Andy, for reminding me of the things my Mom would have said to me.
I am listening.


QoD: How many times have you thrown away cards or letters written to you by your parents?
(Well, stop it. I wished I would have saved one thing, anything, my mother wrote me.)

7 comments:

Ty said...

trying to find something
eloquent to say
to match what you've
written
but what you've written
is a snowflake
it can't be matched
so I'll just write

thank you 4 sharing u
i love u

Amy said...

Yeah, what Ty said. What a nice post. I miss you. We need to talk soon.

motownrunnergirl said...

i don't know why i thought I had responded to this when I read it. i'm very disappointed to see now that i didn't comment right away. this was a very sweet post. and it made me want to cry. particularly the end. and the picture of your mama -- it's so sweet. great smile. thanks for sharing. ty's eye picture makes me smile. man liz this has been a very melodramatic weekend. i swear, it hasn't been pretty. what gives me the most anxiety is to see it get wasted by melodrama. the sky is gorgeous. the trees are too. it's just beautiful fall weather. getting wasted by moodswings. my friend evie left town a good hour and a half ago and i just realized she has the keys to my car and house in her pocket. so she's driving back to bring them to me!!! aye. i hope your weekend has been wonderful. hugs. at least there are no wildfires here. margarita

motownrunnergirl said...

one more thing, i love receiving letters from my parents. my mom sends me the nicest cards and she likes to drop in a starbucks card every once in a while, which is so great because i love to get a morning coffee!! my dad also send me an awesome card the other day, just saying he was proud of me. man, it feels good to hear that. have a great rest of your sunday. my sister, actually, is a good card sender too. she loves to send stickers and i love getting them even though i'm almost 100 years old. just yesterday she sent dora stickers. they are freaking awesome!

motownrunnergirl said...

meant to say sent me not send me. typo.

Camille said...

That's a beautiful post..I don't think I have anything my mom wrote to me, but I have a box of her stuff I keep...loss makes you appreciate people more than ever, though.

motownrunnergirl said...

what's shaking!???