Signed on

I joined the team -- Team In Training. OMG.
They'll train me to run a half or full marathon or ride 100 miles on a bicycle while I will raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.
Man. I never thought I'd ever do this. Ever.
I think I just went as far as I could training by myself. I need some support. I need a team.
The challenge is going to be amazing, physically and mentally.
I couldn't decide whether to train for the century ride, but I seriously didn't think that I could get my body in condition in just four months to ride 100 miles on a bicycle through part of the Texas Hill Country. No way.
So I decided to do another half marathon instead, in May. I figured I can run the entire half by then, no walking.
I will train for the Shinerbash Century in Austin in 2008.
That's the new goal, the next level.
I don't quite know how I happened upon or fell into this, but I'm glad I did and grateful to the power that brought me here.

Demon psycho kitty

He's been trying to kill me for years.
Stevie Ray sneaks up on me at night when I walk through the house, checking the doors and turning out the lights before it's time to go to bed.
Slowly he gazes. I walk past. He leaps and wraps all four paws around my leg, reaches over and takes a bite out of my shin.
It's really a love-hate relationship, but seriously I don't know the breakdown. It's a toss-up day-to-day.
He ran away once for a week. I was worried because he doesn't have front claws. He survived, though. He's too mean to let anyone hurt him.
Since he came back, he's been a bit more loving. Still psychotic, but more loving.
If it wasn't for the dog, he'd have taken me out long ago, that kitty-kitty.

Power

Several people own it.
Others envy it.
Some shun it.
When it lands on you, your peace, what do you do?
Do you fall down like a dog on your back and wait for the sniff to pass? Or do you fight back?
How do you fight back? Tell me, I want to know. I need to know.
Is it words? Is it actions? Is it nothing?
I react badly when I think people I am close to are trying to control me in some way
I used to allow it regularly. I have changed. But sometimes I can slip back into old ways.
It's the person I used to be that emerges periodically when things become uncomfortable. I don't want her to come out.
Why do I allow this feeling still?
Power. Control. If I clench my fist, it stays. If I extend my hand, can I let go?
Will I, can I just let go?

The song says

We're never gonna win the world
We're never gonna stop the war
We're never gonna beat this
If belief is what we're fighting for...

Ever think about what that says? Really?

Please respond if you stop by.

Missing

I'm missing. A mother, a nephew, a brother.

Too much

If my dog isn't crashing, it's me.

It isn't necessarily work that is the culprit. Certainly not for Niki the dog, but for me, not so much, either.

It's the "things" that have come into my orbit lately. Suicide. Death. Not the same thing here, two different events, same result of course. Oh, the theft, too.

Sometimes I wonder how much an individual is expected to endure, and how long.
Actually, it isn't sometimes but all the time that I battle internally on that question.

Do we ever really get the answer?

If it weren't for friends and family, the wind, the hike, the music, faith. God, how could any of us really endure?

If you come upon this, comment please.

thx.

"From the kitchen to the Congress"

Nancy Pelosi made history today for all of us gals. The Gentlelady from California is third in line to be president. And she's a Democrat, a liberal, too.

She was elected by her entire party, unanimous, something that hadn't been done for a few speakers of the house in the past. That says a lot for a country and a government that has relegated this gender to No. 2 since the beginning.

I heard lots of people today say that they hope she "doesn't mess things up." Why have we not heard that comment for all of the men who have pounded that very same gavel decades before?

Some people made fun of the tea that she had the day before her election. It sounds a little more gentler than Washington is used to, but it's also a whole lot more civilized than having a drink in a dark room while smoking a cigar.

I hope she knocks their socks off with that gavel. She is a tough woman, that Madame Speaker of the House.

I watched a miniprofile broadcast about her a few weeks before the November elections. She made no apologies about what she thought America needed to do, especially with the war. "We're going to win," she said and give government back to the American people.

They did. We did. Just like she said.

You go girl!

Just strum

Listen to music and separate the instruments and hear them one by one.
What do you hear?
Feel?
See?
That's is what I think about when I am outside, running or walking; with or without my dog. This is when I learn.
Somehow all of the noise that is life seems to just go away. It's all a boom by a bass or a drum; a riff on a keyboard or bridge. A wail from deep below.
It removes me from stress, fear, dread. Lets me feel wonder.
Music is the best drug I've ever had, the best medicine for any ill that creeps inside.
I really can't get through a day without it.

First day back

It's hard on a day like today.
Working day No. 1 for 2007 went like this:
Daily budget was empty.
The only people back from the holiday were the top editors, so there was more management there than reporters. It sucked.
It was cold, I only got about three hours of sleep last night, and I have a 10k (six mile) race on Saturday.
Oh Sh...

Happy New Year!

Thank God it's another year. Shedding 2006 is bittersweet -- the last part of the year was filled with positive adventures and challenging journeys. They will serve as constant reminders and keep me focused on going forward.

Great things about today:

I slept late, got up, and went on a seven to eight mile run-walk and did it in an hour and a half. Yeay! Didn't take this beautiful dog, but she understands. It's the first day of the year, so I needed to go solo.

First ephiphany of the year: Flood of happiness 30 minutes into working out and my iPod, on shuffle, played every inspirational song (they aren't all that way) and left me with a huge smile on my face.

Let there be more epiphanies, because this is gonna be a great year.